no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
