"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize