Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
