They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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