So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
this hospital has no fireball
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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