LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I forget how to act sober
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
