I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
