Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
