Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dignity is for republicans.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
