I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
