Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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