how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
