Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize