sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So much Jack, so little girl.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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