Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
