ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
