so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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