sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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