if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Boobs speak an international language.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
