...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
