So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
