Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
