why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
