Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
