How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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