your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
