My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
