speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
