If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
bring money and cleavage
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize