What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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