I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
