State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
