So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
