He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
