no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
smell my finger.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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