i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
