So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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