He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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