There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
