would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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