I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
