The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
