Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think your dad took our porno
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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