? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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