He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
