I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
