I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
