Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
