it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
