I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
