The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
