I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I am morally bankrupt
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
