I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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