Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
