why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
