I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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