she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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