Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
