i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
