Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
