I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
