i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
