it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
