Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
