Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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