he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize