AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
