My balls are so social today.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
