Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
