I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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