so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
