STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
