god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize