you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
