you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
