4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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