i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize